Today was the first day back at school after half term. I got lots done during my week off and even caught up on some much needed sleep. Zzzzzz
Even though I got lots ticked off my to do list I still managed to get to work this morning and feel like someone had plopped me on a treadmill going too fast!
I made time each day during half term to read some blogs by other teachers and keep to an eye on the articles that had been shared on the TES website. I read an article from an anonymous writer titled ‘We are not just teachers, we are people – and one bad lesson doesn’t make me a bad person.’ This really struck a chord with me. At the end of last term I had by first observation that didn’t go as well as I wanted. I forgot lots of the things that I normally put into my lessons, I over thought things and panicked. I hate being observed and following my observation I felt rubbish.
I am a very self critical person and I am a perfectionist. I hate letting people down and I don’t like it when my hard work, analysis of data and knowledge of my children doesn’t go to plan! I came home that day feeling like a failure and I doubted myself as a teacher. I am very lucky that Mr. W is level headed and calmed me down and reminded me that one bad lesson doesn’t make me a bad person or even a bad teacher.
I think that I am lucky that I have a job that I love (most of the time) but it can become an obsession and I know for the sake of my own wellbeing (and sanity) that I don’t let it take over every part of my life. I know from past experiences that it is hard to hear criticism of my teaching without taking it to mean criticism directly of myself as a person however the blog made a very valid point that I will be putting on a post it note on my desk tomorrow – ‘Don’t let one mistake in a lesson define you’ I will try my hardest to learn from my mistakes to help me be a better and happier teacher!
I understand the need to monitor teaching and learning and I am grateful (kind of!) that I am being observed on Wednesday which hopefully will show what I am really capable of. Fingers crossed that it all goes it plan!
Wish me luck!